One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
