dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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