the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
