I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
