it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
