there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
