No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
