he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
