She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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