if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
