oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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