Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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