you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
