your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
