Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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