waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
