I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
