Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize