I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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