your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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