i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
