I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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