i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
