my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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