You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
