I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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