I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
