I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Randomize
