youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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