is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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