Christians are straight up FREAKS
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
