So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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