A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
