i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize