chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
