Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
