He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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