So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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