I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
