I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he was CRYING into my vagina
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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