apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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