you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
