I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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