so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
