his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
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No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
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I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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