I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
