you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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