she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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