TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
