i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize