I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
