is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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