I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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