I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
