was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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