was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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