There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
